To Jimmy

I never got a chance to sign put off signing your yearbook, so this is my thinly-veiled attempt at rectifying that.

Like the other great gay couples of our time (Moore/Civics Tran, Comrade Tran/Elliot) we started out as acquaintances.  I remembered meeting you back in elementary.  Oh back then you were a very…innocuous seeming person.  I was surprised then-when I was trying to pick on you one time-that you told me to fuck off.  You grew a fucking backbone.  And from that day, I really never thought of you as anyone but my equal.  That fuck off was glorious.  Weird how kids go around gaining respect, huh?

Anyways, flash forward to middle school.  I think you ate lunch with Kev and me from time to time, but that was about it.  During the first half of high school, we were still just cordial friends.  But I think it’s when you decided to stick with me in Mock Trial that our friendship became something else.  Like the end result of Bruce Banner getting zapped with gamma rays, our friendship too grew into a big, indestructible mound of manliness.  And I say that with no sarcasm.  Ok, there was a lot of sarcasm.  We’re not gay.

I mean I guess there was just something about our personalities.  You’re like the reasoning Yin to my raging awkward Yang.  We complement each other.  We’re like two 45 degree angles.  I can go on, but I think you’d rather I not.  In short:  We just geled.  We clicked.

You: Oh you enjoy dirty jokes?  Me too!
Me:  <dead prostitute in a box joke>

Us:  <laugh until out of breath>

Although you ended up hating mock trial, I’m sure that without that experience we probably would not have come to know each other the way that we do now.  Like really know each other. In the end, I think we both got something good from mock trial.  Plus:  Elaine.

Lets not forget our moments in APUSH.  I’d like to think that suffering in that class together strengthened our budding relationship.  Remember how we used to sit near each other and, instead of doing our work, subverted Mr. B and just sat there talking/doing gay stuff?  I am going to say that that shit helped me get through a good portion of that class each time.  There was that stupid activity where we would mime writing something on the desk and the other would guess what it was.  That shit was retarded.  But it also showed how alike our trains of thoughts were (hint:  “penis” is a safe guess choice).  Oh yeah and Mr. B flipped you off lol.

We sure did end up hanging out a lot.  I mean there was that summer where Vuong drove us everywhere.  Then there was this summer where you drove me everywhere.  I’m glad you’re able to put up with my lack of a car, because without you, I don’t think I’d have gone anywhere interesting besides anime expo.  Someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, I will ferry you somewhere.  Whether or not it is a car remains to be seen.

I’m also glad that you’re here to keep me in check, and I you.  Sometimes (all the time?) I go off the deep end and I need you to reel me back.  I’m a loud-mouth, forward douchebag with a PhD in bigotry.  You’re my compass.  My free-thinking, marajuana-supporting, metal-listening, 10-degree-cap-wearing korean-look-a-like moral compass.  And fuck, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else.  I don’t say this enough, but I’m glad we met.

We really do seem to pull each other up by the bootstraps whenever we’re feeling down.  Without you, I wouldn’t know who to spout my fears and insecurities to.  And without me, you’d probably be a whole lot happier more bored/emo.  And-more often than we’d like to admit-we do use movies as our primary means of escapism.  Good to know that apush is still quotable.

It’s really amusing that explosm parallels our life/relationship/humor/quirks in so many ways.  I’m convinced that they have us both wiretapped and keylogged.  One day soon, they will write a comic about us discussing how they ripped us off, and then we shall have the credit we rightfully deserve.

With that said, when I say “I am going to miss you” it is going to be the understatement of the year.  It’s gonna be really hard to function without my better half.  I mean we’ll live and we’ll make new friends, but the interim time will suck.  But I can assure you, though, that our relationship is indeed like the Hulk:  indestructible, relentless, and green (I don’t know ok-I recently watched it).  The two months will just fly by and before you know it I’ll be right back here in the OC preparing to celebrate thanksgiving, camp for black friday, and, most of all, celebrate your goddamn birthday.  Damn you’re young.  But you also get to jailbait longer, so more power to ya.

I’ll tell you what I’ve told some of the others.  Don’t think of this as a “goodbye”.  That’s too final, too sad, and, more importantly, too serious.  Think of this as a “brb” (but for two months).  I’ll always come back to this place because I have people worth coming back to.

I think, besides your faggy companionship, the thing I will miss the most is our random hi5′s and our “commotion over nothing”.  We’re easily amused is what I’m trying to say (ROOM OF REQUIREMENT HI5 awkwardness).  And I’m going to miss that.  A lot.  I’m gonna miss simply just hanging brain.  Our quirks and interactions are quite… interesting compared to others (read:  gayer).  We make quite the unique pair.

And I’m glad we sometimes get into stupid arguments and fights.  It shows that while we’re both very co-dependent, we still retain our free-will and opinions.  We disagree and squabble because, when it all comes down to it, we’re true friends.  Someday, I will argue rationally.  I just hope that day doesn’t come soon, for it will be a sad day.

Make sure you do come down and visit.  I’ll be sure to be in the know on all the parties and social events, just for you (ok not just for you).  Make sure you remember our hawt pact, too.  We’re gonna crash AX next year really hard and knock mess up some girls!  In the meantime though, make sure you get the fuck out there and have the best college experience ever.  Put yourself out there.  Be loud.  Get noticed.  Remember:  no regrets.  Do everything you can to have fun:  dorming or not be damned, cause you’re gonna paint UCI red.  With the blood from the women that you deflower.  But don’t neglect your grades either.  Remember, when I get back, you better have like so many lady friends.  Please introduce me to some.

REMEMBER: it’s a brb.  Pretend I’m gonna go take a two month piss.

You’ll always be my bff and we’ll always be the biggest pair of bromosexuals ever.  And that’s what’s gonna make me miss you even more.

P.S., I heard you bought Kelly some boba on a whim.  Nice.  Remember to collect on her debt, for it is your right and responsibility as my friend.